My new mat -
Mistress has gone on holiday for a week and left us with Master. Well what can I say. I am worried. He is not the most reliable person at the best of times and without mistress around I am very very worried. OK he has so far remembered to feed us but will he remember tonight and the next night etc. And what about those little treats mistress gives us every now and then. Nothing from him. I keep trying to remind him but just get the old “You’re Fat Smudge go away”. How can I be fat I am starved to death. I am only a former shadow of myself.
I have also noticed something very sinister and worrying. An ‘S’ has materialised on the side of the bowl I get my dinner in. Now normally we both have identical bowls so why all of a sudden has mine been identified with a ‘S’ (for Smudge I assume). Does this mean I am getting a different dinner to idiot brother? Does it mean I am getting less than him? I have had my suspicions for a while about this as I always seem to finish before him which would suggest I get less. Oh well I will have to redouble my efforts to cadge food from the cottages.
The other thing I notice with mistress not here is a lot more shouting. Usually at idiot brother but sometimes in my direction. I don’t like shouting – it often wakes me up. Of course idiot brother is just impervious to it and carries on with whatever he is up to, which usually results in master getting even more irate with him.
At least the weather is improving and we can get out more. The only problem with that is, if it is wet we have to go through the paw washing routine. This isn’t too bad with mistress but with master ……….. Our friend the wagtail is back on our cottage’s roof so we spend many a happy hour chasing him. Of course there is always the odd hare about in our fields to chase but I am getting a bit bored with them as they run too fast for me. The odd squirrel is always a handy distraction. The thing I like best about spring is just lying in the courtyard soaking up the sun (preferably without idiot brother around).
OK I shouldn’t of eaten it …
Fun in the snow
At long last the snow seems to be going from our Bolehill Cottage fields or at least we can see bits of green again. The great thing about the snow is that we don’t get our feet dirty when we go out, so we don’t get the ‘Smudge Stay’ and then the dreaded towel when we come in. The worst case is if we get master cleaning our paws. That is terrible as he is very rough and what is worse he sometimes forgets to give us our ‘Paw wipe treat’. The ‘Paw wipe treat’ is the only reason we don’t go rushing off into the lounge. If we don’t get a treat I don’t see why I can’t just wander into the Lounge and dry off by the fire. Hasn’t he read how to train a dog – constantly feed them.
Not the paws again
Anyhow the snow was fun at times. Of course idiot brother kept trying to help master clear the drive which is always amusing as master gets angrier and angrier with him till in the end he is shouting at him. Does no good as the idiot still gets in the way. Far better to sit and watch.
Fun in the snow
We have had a few nice walks with mistress in the afternoon sun walking around our grounds. I enjoy our walks with mistress. She always carries a bag of treats (unlike master) and she doesn’t yell at us. So we can have a nice peaceful walk and exploring session. Of course idiot brother has to go and dig up mole hills which mistress isn’t too keen on but apart from that it can be fun. I am still not too sure why we have to go out just before sunset and then sit around for 10-15 minutes but mistress seems to enjoy watching sunsets from our back fields.
Inspecting Derwent Bathroom
Master has been insufferable again. Thank goodness he has now finished the work in Derwent Cottage . He is always grumpy and on edge when he is working against the clock to complete some work in a cottage and of course we usually get it in the neck. I just dread the days mistress leaves him to feed us. There is a 50/50 that he will forget as he is so preoccupied with things. Idiot brother doesn’t seem to care but I DO. I NEED MY FOOD. Anyhow things seem to be back to normal for the time being (until the next cottage!!!).
What Can I Say
Well thank goodness that is all over for another year at Bolehill Cottages. No more looking stupid for photos, no more being banned from OUR lounge, no more Smudge slobbering everywhere looking expectantly for food, no more late nights, no more Christmas Carols (I hate Christmas Carols), no more being left behind ‘because we are dogs’, no more pretending to be happy all the time, no more being ignored by Master ‘because he is busy’. Ok there are a few upsides to this Christmas thing. We do get ‘extras’ in our dinner bowl and people do buy us treats which is enough to buy off Smudge but not me. You can’t buy me off with food. A good game or toy maybe but not food.
Can we come in?
We didn’t even get our usual Boxing day walk. They all went off down town without us. Basically I was abandoned with old ‘Sour Paws’ (Smudge) for hours instead of being out and about as I should be.
How Xmas should be.
The great thing about this Christmas was the snow on Boxing day evening. Master and Mistress were all a bit grumpy about it (especially mistress) but I thought it was great fun. As usual I went out to help master clear the drive, car park and courtyard. As usual he didn’t appreciate my help (I don’t know why I bother). I think he calmed down a bit once all our Christmas guests had managed to get away and the New Year guests were settled in. He then managed to take us for some walks around our grounds and a ride around to see the countryside. What the fascination is of going out just before it is dark to watch the ‘sunset’ I have no idea but it did get us out into the snow each evening. OK I am getting older and master keeps calling me a ‘Senior’ dog but it is still great fun to play in the snow.
Fun in the Snow
Even Smudge joins in every now and then (when he is not grumbling about the cold on his paws). Luckily we had a number of dog friends staying, so if Smudge wasn’t willing to play (when is he), there was always another dog to play with. Unfortunately all the snow has gone and we are back to walking in muddy fields which is really bad news as we are forever getting ‘washed down’. I am sure it is some sadistic streak in mistress to put us through such trauma two or three times a day. At least with the snow it was a quick wipe down and that was it.
We did get a bit of a walk on New Years day. Master’s Brother came to see us and we took him to Cromford Mill to show him around. The walk along the canal was enjoyable (although Mistress was a bit wary about the ice on the footpath) and at least they sat with us when THEY had lunch rather than just abandoning us outside. We even got a few scraps which kept Smudge happy. Of course we had to go and have a look around the shops over at the mill. I had forgotten what a scary place the mill is. Lots of noise and tumbling water. Not a good place for a dog so I was glad when we got back to the car. I wasn’t so happy when we got home and got hosed down!!!! Is there a law against hosing dogs down, outside in the freezing cold? If there isn’t there should be.
Scary Stuff: Water.
Well some might call it a day out. We call it a boring amble round shops. Mistress wanted to go to the Chatsworth Christmas Market which is fair enough but why involve us in the excursion. OK if they were going to buy me some food or take us for a walk I wouldn’t mind going BUT to wander around a bunch of boring tents – what is the point. Anyway as Chatsworth is only 5 miles or so from our cottages (see Bolehill cottages) it was decided ‘we’ would pop over in the late afternoon. Of course master saw this as an opportunity to get rid of some old ovens and dishwashers he had recently replaced, so he filled the back of the car with rubbish. Hold on a minute that is where we usually sit. So maybe we are not going after all. No such luck I was crammed in the back with all the rubbish and idiot brother got to sit on mistresses lap. Once we got rid of master’s rubbish we could at least get our seats back.
The Christmas Fair wasn’t as bad as previous years as it wasn’t as cold and it was nice and quiet (we got there late enough to avoid the crowds). One good thing about the Chatsworth Market is we always get lots of attention from passers by. NO FOOD but lots of cuddles and strokes. As usual idiot brother started playing up. For some reason best known to himself, he has started to become scared of the sound of drums. Don’t ask me why – I have no idea. All of a sudden some musical band started up and the idiot went into his cringe and shiver mode. Just throw him in the car and forget about him, was my thought but oh no, everyone gave him a fuss and tried to calm him down. Why bother? He is an idiot. Well after a while the band stopped and we could progress (slowly) around the market. Very little of any interest really although mistress seemed to find something of interest at every stall. Master looked as bored as we felt.
In the end after going round twice we were allowed to go home but only after mistress first visited Chatsworth Farm Shop. Now we both know this is a waste of time as they don’t sell dog food and we get left in the car. I suppose that is better than being dragged around the shop like poor master gets. He does always look so miserable, especially this time when he found out how much mistress had spent.
Some down time with mistress
I was framed! What happened was that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I just happened to be passing through the hall when I noticed a bag on the floor that had a plastic bag inside it. I only stopped for a moment to see what it was and all of a sudden all hell broke loose. Mistress was screaming at me for eating ALL the dog treats. Masters friend who was staying (and who’s bag it was ) was telling me what a bad dog I was. Of course with all the commotion it wasn’t long before master got in on the game of ‘blame Blue’. I tried to tell them that it wasn’t me and that I had found the bag like that but oh no, no one would listen. I noticed Smudge was being very ‘conspicuous by his absence’. Then it dawned on me who the real culprit was – SMUDGE. Of course no one would listen to me. As far as they were concerned I had been caught ‘red pawed’ and I was therefore guilty. No one stopped to think that it wasn’t like me to eat an entire bag of treats and there was a more likely candidate not far away. I was ostracised for the entire evening. All I got all evening was snide remarks about being a ‘thief’ and what a ‘bad’ dog I was. As expected Smudge just kept very quiet and looked as though butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth (which it would). Luckily by the next morning everyone had forgotten about the incident and master was talking to me again.
Chatsworth Sculpture exhibition.
I am now plotting my revenge on Smudge. Its going to be something very very nasty – like getting his dinner stopped for a day or two. Or something equally upsetting for him.
In all its not been a good few weeks. As usual we got dragged round Chatsworth Sculpture exhibition which is Ok but a bit boring. All the trips out Master and mistress have had have been without us. I would have liked to say hello to Prince Charles at the Dowager Duchesses Funeral. I am sure he likes dogs and we know she liked dogs so why couldn’t we go? The Thornton Chocolate factory visit was another NO DOGS day out for them. What is it with these companies. Why do they have such a prejudice against dogs. Mistresses visit to the WI conference is another example. I am sure I would have enjoyed saying hello to Michel Portillo. But oh no, another NO DOGS event. We are still awaiting our usual autumn walks up at Derwent Dams and Padley Gorge but now master has gone down with ‘Man flu’ so I suppose that will be delayed.
Its been a busy week this week. What with having mistresses friends here and me having to check more cottages (see our site) than normal for food I have had very little time for my favourite pastime of sleeping. One of our regular friends was back so we had to go off to play with him (idiot brother probably went a bit too far as usual). The unfortunate thing about regular visitors is that they are in general not as generous on the food side as new guests. I have a feeling mistress has had words with them about me being over weight. Well I am not. I may have a few muscles here and there that show up as fat but I am certainly not fat. How could I be on the meagre rations we get. The only way I survive is by scrounging food off guests. Without that supplementary food I would have wasted away by now.
We have at long last been take on some walks. Master/Mistresses friends are keen walkers so we always get taken out when they visit. Its always a lot better when we go out with them as we don’t spend as much time ‘admiring the view’. The first day we walked from Ashford in the Water to Bakewell and then over the hill to Great Longstone (where we stopped for Lunch) and then on up to Monsal Head and back round to Ashford. It was a bit of a long way for mistress but we coped. The walk was relatively easy and we encountered very few cows and Sheep so idiot brother wasn’t too much of a pain.
Me with mistress
The next day we set off from home and headed down to Over Haddon and then on down to Haddon Hall. This is where the problems started. The first few fields had been fine – a few friendly milk cows and a few dizzy sheep. But once we had cleared the sheep (idiot brother was only a bit scared) we entered a field full of bullocks. At this point we realised that mistress’s friend was scared of cows, so master sent me off to be a decoy while the others (including idiot brother on a lead to stop him running off) crossed the field. So off I went with master in a long loop round the field and sure enough the beasties followed us. Now these beasties don’t understand that I am an ace cow dog and that I will take no nonsense from cows so we had a few fraught moments until they learnt that. In general they did behave but there is always one that wants push its luck, so he needed to be taught a lesson. After we got through the first field the next field was also full of bullocks so off I went again. This happened over about four fields. I found it great fun but idiot brother was nearly a nervous wreck by the time we got through the last field. Then the shooting started. Way of in the distance someone was practising shooting . Well this was the last straw for idiot brother. He now became a gibbering wreck. They all tried to console him (I didn’t) but in the end the shooting stopped and we could get him to moving again.
Once we got to Haddon Hall he had forgotten all about the cows and the sheep and the shooting and was back to normal (just being an idiot). After Haddon Hall we turned towards Bakewell where we stopped for lunch and master went on ahead to get the car (which he had left at the top of the Town before we set off). I think he was a bit worried about mistress as she had been lagging a bit. So we got a ride back home in the car which was good as I have to admit my paws were feeling a bit sore. I think I must be getting a bit old as I am definitely feeling a bit stiff tonight and looking at idiot brother he looks even worse than me. I do wish master would stop helping us over stiles though. We are still young enough to get over them ourselves and it is very embarrassing as a Collie to be lifted over a stile. If anyone were to see it I wouldn’t know where to put my muzzle.
View towards Haddon Hall
A field near ‘Shirley’
OK in general I am a very brave dog but there are just a few things that I do get very worried about – Cows, Sheep, Thunder and lightening, machines that beep and loud bangs. Well at this time of year I am constantly surrounded by Cows. They are all over our fields (see our cottages). OK master and mistress always takes us round the fields where there are no cows but they are always lurking just over a wall. Whenever we go out for a walk we seem to have to go through Sheep. Why can’t they live in another field? Why are they always on the footpath? Why do they always look so viscous and bad tempered ? I haven’t done anything to them.
Is it not bad enough that I have to contend with Cows and Sheep? Oh No, I also have had to put up with Thunder and lightening this week. I am terrified of Thunder (as is Smudge). Mistress does her best to console me but I just don’t like it and there never seems to be anywhere to hide, to get away from it. Master is no use, all I get form him is ‘Blue – pull yourself together your a Collie’. What does that mean. I am together and I know I am a Collie. Doesn’t stop me being scared of thunder though.
Peak Rail 1940 weekend
Today just when I calmed down, we get taken to the Peak Rail 1940 Re-enactment weekend. Now they know I don’t like this sort of thing so why did they take me? Well actually it may not have been entirely their fault as I did jump in the car to make sure I was taken. I didn’t realise where we were going. It was ok for a 1/2 an hour or so then someone let off a gun. Well I nearly died. Smudge didn’t look too good either. I got the usual “Blue – pull yourself together your a Collie” from master and some soothing words from mistress but that was no help. To make things worse every 5-10 mins someone would let off another gun. In the end there was all sorts of guns going off but luckily by this time Master and Mistress had got the message and we were taken home.
Now summer has arrived we seem to be getting more walks although it is still hard to get master away from our cottages (see Bolehill cottages) and his computer. This week we went to Shirley? Well I thought that was what mistress was called but apparently there is a village called Shirley. Very strange!! Of course we have been dragged round the usual well dressings but so far we have been lucky in that we haven’t been to any gardens. We did get taken to the Bakewell Carnival the other week which I quite enjoyed but of course idiot brother had to make a scene. He was scared of the drums in the bands that were marching past. What an idiot. In the end master had to take him to somewhere quieter to stop him trembling. In the end we had to leave early. He always has to spoil things.
Just checking out the slide
We have had lots of dogs here over the last few weeks so treats from guests have been quite good. I have now perfected my summer time ‘I am not being fed at home’ look and it seems to be doing the trick. I have figured out that mistress is telling people not to feed me as I am over weight (as if). So things are getting tougher but my ‘sorrowful look’ technique is getting better and most guests start to feel sorry for me after a while and give in and give me something. There is also more people eating out in the courtyard which is always worth a try to see if there is any spare food. Of course master posted my picture on Facebook with a ‘thief’ label on me which hasn’t helped much.
The walks we have been taken on have been quite interesting although I am starting to feel a bit stiff in an evening after going for a long walk. Must be age. On one of the walks we had to go across a wooden bridge. No problem except idiot brother now seems to have become scared of wobbly bridges. Master had to coax him across. I don’t know what has got into him lately. Anyone would think he was being taken to the vets. There was also another episode with lambs. All that happened was two lambs run past him and he got scared and ran off in the opposite direction. Master and mistress had to go back and put him on a lead to bring him back up the field. They were lambs for heavens sake. Not that scary.
The last few days have been a bit warm for me so I have stayed inside or in the shade. Luckily I haven’t been called upon to sort out any cows or anything energetic like that. Its just not the weather for that sort of thing.
Idiot brother’s barking is getting me down
Looks a bit viscous to me
Its been quite warm here at our cottages (see website) for the last few weeks so we have tended to find a shady spot and snooze through the day. Unless of course I am called upon to help master. He has been hacking down all sorts of trees and bushes which is great fun although I don’t think mistress is too happy. Master gets a bit ‘saw happy’ once he gets going and anything standing in his way just gets hacked down. Never mind I am sure things will grow back.
We have been having quite a lot of problems with cows (when don’t we have problems with cows). Last week a couple managed to get into the front field where we were working so we tried to get them back into their proper field. Of course being cows they wouldn’t do as they were told, so we left them were they were. Unfortunately the handyman didn’t shut the gate properly. The next thing I noticed was that the entire set of hooligans were coming through the gate. Well that was it I was off to a safer location behind a fence. It was quite funny watching master and the handyman try and get them back into the field.
More Well Dressings
They gave up in the end and called the farmer who came up later that evening and helped us to get them back. Only 1/2 hour later and 3 of the idiots had jumped out of the field again. We left them there for the night. The next morning the farmer and master put them back where they should have been and put out an electric fence to keep them away from the wall they kept jumping over. That sorted them out.
Of course the well dressings are now on so we are getting dragged round each of those as they are opened. It really is quite boring but mistress enjoys them.
We went on a walk over at Matlock the other week which was quite exciting. The only problem was a footbridge we had to go over had a very very steep set of steps to get down from it. Now in general I don’t mind steps but these were just a bit too steep and high. I sat there hoping master would help but of course there was no chance there. Then I looked at mistress hoping she would take pity on me but no. All I got was “Come on Blue you are a Collie you can easily manage these. Look Smudge didn’t have a problem.”
Well of course Smudge didn’t find them a problem he is too stupid to realise how scary they were. It just shows the concern everyone has for my well being when everyone just started walking off, leaving me terrified, perched on top of a flight of steps I couldn’t get down. Well of course in the end I had to just grit my teeth and go for it or I would have been left behind. Thanks a bunch for all the help.
Smudge got shut inside a cottage again the other day. He had been doing his usual rounds of inspection (to check for food) when the door must have closed behind him. When the lady came back from taking her dogs for a walk there was Smudge sitting inside the cottage looking out the door. Serves him right.
What a cheek. Here I am in the prime of my life and THEY are talking about retiring me from my cow herding duties. Come on I may be ten years old but I am still very young at heart. OK I did find it a bit of a struggle getting back home after the last round up session. That was because the cows were harder work than normal. As it was such a nice evening they wanted to stay out, so I had to do more rounding up than normal. And I might sleep just a bit more than I use to. But doesn’t mean I have to be retired.
If I am to be retired does it mean I get a biscuit pension? Is it a final biscuit Pension? Is it index linked? Do I get my bus pass? Can I exchange my bus pass for biscuits? Is idiot brother to be retired from his security job? These are all important questions that need answering. But as usual no one will listen.
My best side.
We got dragged round Tissington well dressings on Sunday. I suppose that means the Well dressing season has started and we will get dragged round all the rest of them. I don’t mind too much but I do wish we could get round a bit quicker. All this ‘viewing’ bit is all very boring.
Our fields are currently nearly full with cows, which of course idiot brother hates, as we are all waiting for silaging to start. He is almost confined to the front garden as he refuses to go in any field where there are cows. In reality there is half our front field without cows and of course our paddock area but he is so worried, he wont go in either without master or mistress (just in case). The fields at the back of us are a bit of a problem for us as the grass is now so high we can’t see where we are going. The good thing is that master can’t see where we are and we can explore without the constant nagging. It is a bit hard to get around in that length of grass though, especially if we need to chase something. Oh well hopefully it will be cut shortly and the cows can be let loose in more fields.
Me overlooking Lathkill Dale